Oh L :3
Oh L :3
Why? As I think of the things of and in today’s world/society and my life, the only thing that comes to mind is “why?”.
You look around and you see these people, these…. humans…. walking around, each of them with their own story. Some of them rich, some of them poor. But they are stories nonetheless. Some of them well written, some of them no better than the comic strip in the Sunday paper. Each and every day is a new page in the chapters of our lives. I just recently closed a chapter in my life. It wasn’t the best chapter, but it wasn’t the worst. Although I wish to completely do away with it, it’s a crucial chapter in my life. I think back to all of my ex’s and wonder what I did wrong. It’s not what I did, it’s what I didn’t do. I was always too focused on the long-term goal and the future that I forgot to step back and enjoy every minute and moment. I’ve let people down, but on the other hand I’ve built people up and created bonds that will stand the test of time. Sure, I’ve lost friends because of selfish ideologies. But, through losing them, I gained a new sight of life that has changed me for the better. I guess life really does work on Alchemy’s 1st law; equivalent exchange. In losing something, I gained something. Sure, the pain of losing sometimes outweighs the pain of gaining something, But in the end, what you’ve gained will undoubtedly surpass what you have lost. I’ve always viewed the world as a cruel and vile place. Along with the human race. But now I’ve come to realize that the world isn’t cruel, it’s beautiful. It’s a masterpiece of science. Humans have only been around an extremely short amount of time. We’re young. We’re still growing. We’re still learning.
You know, saying that makes me think back on my past self and realize how much I was full of hatred and loathing. It took so much out of me. I would hate people that I didn’t even know just because of how they looked or how they behaved. So, in turn, that made me no better than the people I swore against. Sure, I may despise who people are, but I shouldn’t despise what they are. Human. We’re bound to make mistakes and we’re bound to get dirty. And that’s okay. Because the sun will always rise the next day and with that, a new beginning. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Mom, you were right.
You always have been.
I hear these voices in my head and I listen to their recovery word.
“YOU’RE FAT, YOU’RE UGLY, YOU’RE JUST A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN”.
I feel the demons of my mind griping my dark, ravenous soul and twisting it into nothing more than a bed of dead roses covered in ash.
My heart screams for someone to love me in return, but I open my eyes to see nothing but the vast emptiness of my life. I mean nothing to no one. I’m waiting for my turn to break free from my chains, but with every thought a new chain comes crashing down, crushing me beneath these piles of aromatic life.
I may be called an “Angel of music”, but I am far from an Angel. My wings are blacker than the darkest night. My eyes are colder than the frozen arctic. And my heart beats as the heart of a dead man’s beats. I am nothing but a monster that was created by the darkness. And it is in that cold void of Oblivion that my soulless mind shall forever be bound.
My name is Salem Jenkins Cromwell and my soul from out the Raven’s shadow shall rise;
I am right now.